5 Things A Person with Autism Needs
1. Patience
Realize that it takes me longer to do things. My thinking is sometimes
slower and it takes me longer to process what’s going on, what I have to
do next, and how I’m supposed to do it. Please do not get frustrated if
you find this tedious. I work best at my own speed. Do not try to rush
me because I will only get more confused and more anxious. It also takes
me longer to mature, to learn and to accept change in routine. And
sometimes I need to be shown how to do things because sometimes I have
trouble trying to figure out some things on my own. A lot of times I
have trouble applying past experiences to new ones and at times it feel
like I need to learn new tasks all the way from square one. Let me grow
at my own pace.
2. Space
There will be many times when I
will turn inward. I like to shut out the world around me, block
everything out. My focus is in a place you can’t see. Just because you
can’t see it doesn’t make it less real for me. Please give me my space
when I’m in this place. I’m not doing it on purpose or because I dislike
you or to get back at you or to get out of doing something. It’s like a
bubble engulfing me and it’s hard for me to pop it. I attempt to break
out of it but my focus and attention is poor. It’s best if you just let
me be in my own space because when I get in this place, it’s calming and
my thoughts aren’t racing like they normally do. The sounds and touches
that normally irritate me and distract me are dull and my heart is not
racing. I don’t like being in this place because I have trouble with
getting things done, but I love being in it because it is safe and it is
calm. I am sensitive to my environment and I have sensory issues so
please remember that when things get loud, crowded, or chaotic, I get
overwhelmed and frightened and over-stimulated. Please don’t stare or
point or ridicule when you see me acting strangely. Please realize that
it’s because of my current environment that makes me act this way; it’s
because I’m surrounded with confusing stimuli and I am overwhelmed.
3. Support
I need to find my niche, my favorite activity, my talent. Please help
me to find it so I have something to do that I am good at. This will
give me confidence in life. Even if it is something as simple as
stacking blocks. Whatever it is, it is my own activity—my talent—and I
enjoy it and need to feel I always have something to calm me, something
to keep me busy. When I find what I am good at, my self-esteem will
increase. When you get me the support that I need, my life will progress
and blossom. Please fight for my rights and get me support that I need
because this world often looks down on me. I am a person just as you are
but I just need a little extra help and some things I cannot do on my
own so I need advocates who will help to get me in a good place in life.
Because I’m not connected to the world and to people as well as you
are, I will always need some guidance on how to maneuver in this world. I
deserve to be happy. I deserve to be helped. I appreciate everything
you do for me but sometimes my autism makes me unable to show you that.
Please never give up on me.
4. Structure
I work best when
everything is predictable. When things are always changing, my brain
can’t keep up. It feels as though the world spins too fast for me and
everything is helplessly out of control. I can’t predict what will
happen next and many days I live in fear of something drastically
changing. I fear of not being able to keep up. It can be the smallest
thing that can set me into panic—a thing you wouldn’t think twice about:
the wrong brand of cereal, the smell of a strong air spray, the sound
of something in the basement, the feeling of stiff, hard jeans on my
legs. I am just more sensitive to everything around me; that is how my
brain works. I like to think of my brain as a fine-tuned microscope that
studies tiny things you normally don’t even see with your naked eye.
When I focus on tiny details, it is quite distressing when they suddenly
change. It’s just a different perspective I have—a different way of
thinking, a unique perspective. Please always remember that because of
how my brain works differently from yours, I see life slightly
differently than you do. The best thing for me is consistence in my
daily activities. Routine makes me feel safe. Little changes put me in a
panic and no one can function like that for too long. Because of my
sensitivity to stimuli and the way my brain focuses on little things, my
anxiety is easily triggered and the best thing to do is to help me to
re-adjust to my comfort zone. It may seem redundant and mundane to you
to live life the way I do, but to me it is safe and comfortable and that
is what I like. Feeling safe and comfortable makes me happy and that
enables me to flourish.
5. Understanding and Love
I saved
this for last because I feel it is the most important. Realize that I
see the world differently. I process information in ways that are
strange to you. I misread, I pick up the wrong details, I miss important
cues. Understand that if I do things that appear strange to you, it is
normal, safe and comfortable for me. Things are louder for me than they
are for you. Tiny things distract me when you wouldn’t even think twice
about them: for example, the ticking of a clock, the wind rumbling
outside, the blinking lights on fire alarms, the flickering of a
computer screen, the seams in my socks. The world moves too fast for me
and at times it seems like it’s a chaotic mess. Many times I find myself
trying to figure out what is going on and how all these people are
unabashed. It can be scary. So please understand that there will be
times when I will avoid certain things and situations at all costs. You
may not see what it is that frightens me, but that does not make it
unreal for me. Something may be so simple for you, and you may think
that anyone in the world can do it, but it may be terribly frightening,
uncomfortable or difficult for me to do. Understand that I see
everything differently from you . I am a human being and I deserve
rights and respect like anyone else. My disability doesn’t make me less
than anyone else. I have trouble coping in this world and I have
difficulties with socializing and communicating, but I am still inside
myself—I am a human being and I have feelings just like everyone else. I
just have trouble expressing them and bringing them outside of my head.
Even though at times it may seem invisible to you, I LOVE just as you
do, and I need your unrelenting love in return. There will be a lot of
people in life who will not understand me, who will be annoyed or even
afraid of me and I will feel that shadow over me. All I need is your
love and to know that there is someone, if only just one person, who
loves me unconditionally for who I am.
By Ashley Florek
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