Salam, nak share ada saudara2 di AM ask for our strtegy- Dulu mase the kids tantrum/meltdowns bila di luar rumah. Plan awal2. Kalau budak start getting upset (early stage) we try to calm them down by taking to a less noisy/busy area. kalau dah tahap mengamuk/tantrum e.g jerit2/guling2/harming others and/or themselves, mmg v. difficult nak calm them down so saya/suami bawak them to "safe place" t...o calm down. Di sini, we tend to use our car (make sure undercover parking and windscreen partly down so tak panas) . Our strategy lebih kurang mcm nie:
Step 1 : say "stop" (say it clearly/kindly but firmly/and at eye level so generally have to get down on your knees- make sure your voice & face is neutral i.e not angry)
Step 2: say "if you don't stop, you'll go to your "timeout space" or "thinking space" or "cooling down space" (whichever term you as the parent prefer)
Step 3: (if they continue to tantrum) say "ok. you're going to the ....." & get them quickly to the "safe place" that you have already decide
Step 4: keep them in the safe place for a duration of time (usually 1 min for each year of age jadi for example kalau umur 4 thn = 4 min ONLY) At the safe place stay near/beside your child, for us kalau the child is in the car, we don't stay inside as he will try to kick/pukul/hurt us so we stay outside the car so we are very near & he can see us. Tapi mase dia tgh tantrum in the car, try not to look at him as not to give attention to the tantrum behaviour - sneak a peek every now & then to make sure he is safe.
Step 5: after that time (make sure not more than that! to make it easier we use a timer so bila bell bunyi the child can hear it too), we turn to him & say"are you ready to behave/get out of the car?". Kalau he still tgh mengamuk, we just said "ok, another 4 minit" or we say " ok, we'll wait until you stop/behave yourself"
Step 6: keep on doing step 4 & 5 until he calms down. It's ok if he is still crying sikit2 tapi tantrum behaviour dah subside. Tapi if he gets out of the space & start tantruming again, straight away hv to do it all over again. BUT be ready/cekalkan diri bcoz with this strategy, the 1st couple of times are the worst. Tantrum usually very long & budak mcm terkejut as you take charge. Try to keep a neutral/gentle face throughout but be firm. Cannot manjakan during the process but can kiss/hugs after he calms down. DON'T apologise for putting him in timeout/thinking/cooling down space but it's good to explain briefly afterwards (after he has calm down)why you did it.
The most important thing is if you decide to do this approach , must FOLLOW THROUGH i.e mesti complete the process tak boleh halfway kalau tak tak jadi. Insha-Allah, after a few times you should notice the tantrumming gets less & less (really works for us but may not work for everyone) One of our boys use to tantrum up to 2-3 hours(terkejut our psychlogist coz she saw it with her own eyes:)
Sumber: Farisa Khai
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