April is National Autism Awareness Month, which naturally raises the question: awareness of what?

As a parent of a 19-year old son with autism, if you had asked me that question years ago, I would have said things like, "Be aware that kids with autism can experience sensory overload" or "Be aware that creating teaching opportunities around an autistic child's interests can help him learn." Or, if I was meeting one of my son's teachers: "Be aware that if you leave that scented candle on your desk, it's going to have a perfect bite taken out of it within two minutes."

A few years ago, I asked Jamie Burke, a young man with autism, what he wanted people to understand. He replied in four words: "Autism is not disability." That idea, "autism is not disability," seems warm and fuzzy enough to put on a bumper sticker. The question is whether we are willing to believe it.

Even the definition of autism is loaded with words like "deficit," "disorder," "impaired" and "restricted." Can we really believe that autism is not disability? Can we offer people with autism the presumption that they are more intelligent than they might be able to demonstrate? Can we recognize that social interaction may be overwhelming, even if they desperately want friends?

The answer matters because the answer will define the quality of life, the opportunities and the dignity of the people we know with autism — including our own children.